Maria wants a bicycle

The next pages in Maria’s journal initially appear to be a mundane list of things to do, with tasks like going to the dollar store, faxing a letter, etc.  But knowing that Maria is a healer, it’s intriguing to see that she also needs to buy more white candles, presumably so she can do more exorcisms.  She also lists getting two 2”x2” photos taken.  That’s the size and quantity needed to apply for a passport.  Is she planning an escape?  That also explains why she needs to call the Health Department.  Or does it?  Maybe she’s having some other tests done…

But if she’s trying to get away, why does she have the phone number for, and an interview date with a Ms. Hoe (I’m not making that name up!) who manages a local big-box store?  Is she going to get a job before she makes her escape?

Finally, because she’s beautiful and independent, she lists that’s she’s got to get her nails done.  That’s important for giving proper neck massages.  

The next page in the spiral bound notebook has been torn out.  It could mean nothing, but it could also speak volumes, because the next entry lets us add even more names to our list of Maria’s love interests.  We’ll pick up the story there.

I am sitting here in my new apartment in Santa Fe, Depressed and feeling somewhat alone, disappointed and unsure of what will be fore me here.  I have been drinking since I got here, not everyday but 2 binges…

Maybe that explains the page torn from the book; she doesn’t remember what she did that day, so she doesn’t want us to know either. 

…and that worrys me.  I want to be that strong secure confident person I was this last whole year and better, why am I here?  What am I to do here in Santa Fe?

Maria, the foreshadowing you’ve done already tells us readers that you’re here to meet a man.   Are you sure you’re not a trained writer?

I met a guy the first night I was here…

She certainly doesn't waste any time, does she? 

…Roger, and started really liking him.  It was strange, he was very affectionate very fast but then told me he is still in love with his ex.  He was calling me everyday and than all of a sudden 2 days and I don’t hear from him.  What happened?  This is part of why I am feeling so depressed, insecure, is it something I do to turn guys off?

Is it possible to put any more foreshadowing into a story?

…Am I boring?

Boring? My readership is up 20% since I started sharing your story, Maria. 

…How can I be more confident and less needy? 

If it hasn’t happened to you already, this is where it will get very painful to read.

…I really want a man now, I am ready to be in a relationship, a real loving honest good exciting relationship with a man who loves me.  I want a man who puts me first, who is always thinking of ways to make me happy…

Me. Me. Me.    Maybe, just maybe, this is why she has trouble having meaningful relationships. 

Next she puts into words exactly how many of us feel about our bicycles:  

…I want a man who is strong and sensitive, I want a man who wants to take care of me and dance with me and excite me and be adventurous with me.  I want a man who every time he sees me he gets butterflies in his stomach… 

My bicycle does all of that for me.  Maybe what Maria really needs is a bike.  But for now its back to the same recurring, painful pattern:

I want a man who makes me feel special, I want a man who accepts me and is proud of me, I want a man who loves that I am a healer and believes in me.  I want...

I won’t make your read it all.  She ends with this prayer:

I want this man now, I am ready, dear God, please bring me this man to love.  Thank you. 

Next time:   Maria’s prayer gets answered.  Or does it?