Wednesday, January 10, 2007

31 Lemons...

31 Lemons
1/2 Gallon of organic grade B maple syrup
1 Box organic peppermint tea
1 Jar of sea salt
1 Box of herbal laxative tea
Organic cayenne pepper
Plenty of toilet paper



I just purchased the above items from our local natural foods store.  I’m going to be mixing up some special brews.



About a year ago I became aware of a fast called the Master Cleanser.  One of my co-workers had a book describing it and he claimed the fast worked wonders for his body.  The fast consists of lemonade sweetened with pure maple syrup and spiced with a pinch of cayenne pepper.  The lemonade is supplemented morning and night with laxative tea, to flush out the toxins loosened by the lemonade. 







I was skeptical, and after reading through the book a bit I was thoroughly convinced that the author, Stanley Burroughs, is a crackpot that makes claims with no biological basis.  For instance, on page 28 he says that our bodies are able to assimilate nitrogen and carbon from the air into protein.  That puts us in a very small group of organisms, including legumes and certain cyanobacteria, which are capable of fixing nitrogen and carbon. Why didn’t they teach me that in grad school?   



While I dismissed Burroughs as a wing-nut, the idea of a detoxifying fast appealed to me.  I’m not the sort that jumps on fad bandwagons, but I had heard that John Wayne had 40 lbs of rotten feces in his colon when he did.  Elvis had over 60.  How many am I carrying?  Where is my body storing the preservatives from all those Twinkies I’d eaten as a kid?  Would losing that excess baggage make me a faster climber?



Cleansing fasts are sort of ‘in’ right now.  I saw an infomercial about one last summer, and know of at least two other cyclists that have recently done similar fasts.  Some fasts allow only fruit and vegetable juice, others only raw foods, but I went with Burroughs’ because it’s been around for 30 years and thousands of people have done it. 



My weekend plans of seeking out single track in Utah’s Dixie were nixed by an arctic storm expected to pass through on Friday.  Now I have a long weekend ahead of me with no plans, so here I sit with a hot cup of ‘Smooth Move’ laxative tea.    I’ve had my last meal for what could be days and will be living on spicy lemonade for a while. 



How long can I make it?  Burroughs says 10 days at a minimum.  But like I said, he’s a crackpot.  I have enough lemons and tea to last me through the weekend.  Check back here soon, I’m sure you’ll be dying to know how it’s going.   



3 comments:

  1. Is fasting and laxatives the best way to get it out, or a diet with 100 grams of fiber a day? I think it would be like a bundle of steal wool going through your digestive tract... if that is what you're going for

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  2. I don't know Sans, I do eat a diet high in fiber, though maybe not 100 grams. That may explain why I haven't had nasty, rope-like stools like the pictures I've seen on the internet. Besides, do you really think it's possible to carry 60 or even 12 pounds of feces in your colon?
    My reason for doing this is mainly the detoxifying. Supposedly many of the toxins including preservatives, pesticides, pharmaceuticals, etc. are still stored in my fat cells. The low pH lemon juice is supposed to dissolve these toxins and the laxatives are supposed to help me flush them out.

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  3. 100g is a lot... I made that number up. The low pH of the lemon juice will not make it to your fat cells, it would have to go through the blood and the pH in your blood is tightly regulated. The best way to get the pH of your blood as low as possible is lactate training, but I don't know what it does to toxins.
    The colon's ability to store feces... I have no idea. I know that in severe constipation you can vomit it, so it can get extreme. I've never seen any data about detox fasts, but I'm always sceptical of new things. Fiber has been shown to prevent constipation and clean the colon. That doesn't mean that the fast is bad, but there's data for fiber.

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