Doing the Dew at 12 Hours of Sundance

I’m never going to live this down. 

It all started about three years ago.  I had just gotten my first real job.  One of my co-workers was a goateed (goatees are the mullet of the new millennium) geologist (I would say quirky geologist, but that would be redundant) named Ryan who said he liked to ride bikes.  One day Ryan suggested we go for a ride. 

We arranged to meet at the mouth of Big Cottonwood Canyon.  I arrived there first and was horrified when Ryan showed up.  He was driving a 4WD truck (albeit foreign made) with what looked like oversized tires, he had a tricked out 'fool' suspension bike in the back, I think he was listening to a Meat Loaf album, and his goatee was bigger and bushier than ever. 

“Oh no” I thought, “The last thing I need is to get mixed up with the Mountain Dew crowd.”

Fortunately I was wrong about Ryan—mostly.  He’s not a weekend warrior-adrenaline junkie who pounds Mountain Dews by the six pack and subsists solely on Cheetos and Sour Patch Kids.  He’s actually a thoughtful, intelligent and sensitive guy.  He can speak an entire sentence without using the word “Dude”.  He may also be a public radio contributor.   

Ever since I told Ryan about that first impression I had we’ve been accusing each other of a Mountain Dew addiction.  We even have an ongoing competition to see who can do the most awesome maneuvers on our bikes.  Anytime one of us, for example, catches some air or drifts our back tire, we have to appeal for points by letting out a whoop, shout, yee-haw, or some other primal scream becoming of a highly caffeinated soda drinker.  If our buddies who witnessed it concur that it was indeed a “kick ass” move, we are awarded one Mountain Dew point.  Anybody who gains a six point lead over his competitors wins a six pack of Mountain Dew.  To this day nobody has ever won the prize, because we won't keep track of our scores.  If I ever did win the six pack of Mountain Dew I’d accidentally leave it in Ryan’s truck. 

It’s not just Mountain Dew.  An especially awesome maneuver warrants a Code Red Mountain Dew, because it is the only equal in awesomeness.  Ryan was the proud recipient of Diet Mountain Dew T-shirt I won as a raffle prize.   He’s since tricked me into taking it back.  Another time I caught him trying to hang an extreme sports calendar in my cubicle.  It depicted all the great gravity powered, caffeine fueled extreme sports. Truly awesome.

Other energy drinks are fair game too.  We were especially tickled to see that the Tuesday Night Mountain Bike Race Series at Solitude was sponsored by Full Throttle.   Ryan and I now have matching Full Throttle T-shirts. That’s some serious awesomeness. 

But I digress.  You want to know about my race at Sundance.  Aaron Stites and I teamed up to defend our title in the duo men category.  You may recall that last year we got rained out before we finished the full twelve hours. 

Saturday’s weather was much drier.  In fact it was perfect; sunny with temperatures in the high seventies.  Aaron and I had agreed to alternate seven mile laps, and give each other longer breaks by doing two consecutive laps twice during the race. 

The race started well.  By our third lap we had taken the lead, thanks to Chris’s clumsy crash in the first lap.   Chris went down, but he wasn’t out. He reeled me in before I finished the third lap.  He put a 2 minute gap on me before he handed it off to his wife KC.  Yeah, that’s right, we were getting beat by a girl, but she could probably ride circles around you too.

Aaron kept the pressure on KC.  He passed her in our fourth lap, but I couldn’t hold Chris off in the fifth lap.  Did I mention they were on singlespeeds with rigid forks?  I pointed out to Chris that I was hauling all those extra gears that were slowing me down, and asked him what his excuse was.  He responded by dropping me like an emo kid at a punk show. 

Sticking to our strategy, I stayed on for our sixth lap, assuming Aaron would do laps seven and eight.  When I came in he said he didn’t know if he had the legs for two laps.  At least I think that’s what he said, but since I didn’t completely understand him I didn’t know how long my break would be.  Would I have 40 minutes, or 80 minutes?  If I could get a longer break I could eat some more substantial food and get a deeper rest.  But since I didn’t know, I had to be ready in 40 minutes. 

When Aaron came through he said he couldn’t do two laps yet, but would do it later when it cooled off.  That hurt me.  My lap times increased by a minute or two over the next four laps.  I think my slowest lap was almost 45 minutes. 

By late afternoon we came to the conclusion that we only had time for three more laps.  Josh and Matt had passed us, and we were holding on for third place overall.  I was feeling deflated.  Before I set out on our 16th lap (my ninth of the day) I made a few changes to my rest routine.  First, I ate a big piece of watermelon that my mom had brought me.  Nothing ever tasted so good.  I washed it down with a cup of miso soup while my mom massaged my legs with some menthol gel.  A couple minutes before Aaron was expected to show up, Mags said—in jest—that I should drink some caffeine. 

“I’d drink a Coke.” I said, not expecting to get one.  But Rich, who was doing a marvelous job manning the pit zone for four teams, offered me an ice cold bottle of mountain dew. 

I took a few swigs—or should I say I slammed it down?—and headed out for my next lap. 

I wish I could say it was the watermelon, or the massage, or the soup, but it just doesn’t add up.  I’m afraid to admit that the Mountain Dew made me feel exactly like the dudes in the commercials.  I was unstoppable.  I did my first sub-forty minute lap since that morning.  When I came back to the finish area Aaron wasn’t expecting me so early and we kind of futzed our transition. 

I went back, had more watermelon, ate an energy gel and washed it down with more Mountain Dew.  My next lap, my tenth of the day, and surely our last of the race, was one of my fastest of the day.  Somewhere around 37 minutes.  We made up a little time on Josh and Matt, but couldn’t catch them. 

We were third overall, second in the duo men category.  We did 18 laps, 10 for me and 8 for Aaron.  I wonder what would have happened if I’d started drinking Mountain Dew earlier.  There’s always next year. 

Come on Ryan, don’t you think I deserve a sixer of Dew?