Originally Posted September 13, 2004 by Chad
She used the same ice breaker that everyone else uses when they want to talk to us; she asked us where we were from and where we were going. She said she had seen us riding into town. When we told her that we were going across the country she said she was doing the same thing, in fact she was going all the way to a conference Salt Lake City.
She asked us what sort of nutritional supplement we use to help us ride. “We stop for ice cream.” I said. She either didn’t think that was funny or she was nervous because she went right on with her sales pitch. What I should have done is tell her what I had for breakfast that morning at the Chatterbox Café in Audubon:
3 scrambled eggs
4 slices of bacon
2 pieces of toast with jelly
A pile of hashed browns
A “short” stack of pancakes that the waitress warned me were the size of hub caps
I didn’t have room or need for any supplements after eating all of that. But Elizabeth continued telling us that athletes around the world are flocking to their supplements, including the Canadian and U.S. speed skating teams. She also said that it was a great business opportunity for us because we could tell people about it along our ride, then collect a commission each time somebody bought something. Her partner, who by this time had come over to back up Elizabeth, said “It’s the business strategy of the 21st century”.
Hoping to get a free sample, I asked if they had some sort of sports drink. Elizabeth said yes and ran out to her minivan, which was covered with stickers advertising their miracle health supplements, and came back with a couple pamphlets but no free sample. They said they only had enough for themselves on their trip. I guess it does take a lot of energy to drive a minivan down I-80 all the way to Salt Lake, so I can forgive them for not having a sample for me, but how do they ever expect to make a sale if potential customers can’t sample the product?
In all honesty, I find the whole thing a little offensive. We have ridden our bike over three thousand miles and a couple of pudgy retirees from Canada tell us that we need some sort of supplement to give us energy and heal our bodies. Lewis and Clark made it across the continent without supplements, so did Dominguez and Escalante, and the Mormons, the Forty-niners, and Simon Fraser. The pony express riders made the trip in about ten days. None of them even had paved roads to travel on.
And finally, why is the conference in Salt Lake City? What is it with Utah and multi level marketing? There is a new miracle health tonic that creates a stir there every few years: Nu Skin, Melaleuca, Tahitian Noni Juice, Usana. I asked my father-in-law about that once and he said it’s because so many Mormons are in need of extra cash and because the Latter-day Saint Church is set up such that there is a lot of networking. I hope he’s right, because I always thought it was because there were so many suckers among us.
I too have a program that will restore your energy and heal your body. It’s called exercise. I just need to design a multi-level business plan and I can make millions. Will you invite me into your home so I can tell you more about it?
Original Comments: Pyramid scams
Chad,
Would you come to my home and tell me about your exercise plan? How about next week? Hah.
Doc
Posted by Doc at September 13, 2004 03:42 PM
Would you come to my home and tell me about your exercise plan? How about next week? Hah.
Doc
Posted by Doc at September 13, 2004 03:42 PM
Hi Chad and Margaret,
I laughed all the way through this impassioned narration of the supplement encounter because it is so typical in today's "take control of your own health" culture. You know though, the Chinese have been at this game for nearly 5,000 years. I can't count the number of times in China that Chinese have said to me as I was eating particular part of a cow's intestine that it would be good for some part of my body. But maybe there is some truth to it. I know during my 30 months in Samoa as a 20-21 year old that those missionaries, Palagi and Samoan alike, who took the "missionary vitamins" every day did not get boils and those who did not, especially when they were living on breadfruit, got boils (I never had one in the whole time). Then there is one doctor who told me all supplements do is produce expensive urin. Hey, its easy to really get into this topic. Thanks for the laughs. Carl
Posted by Carl Harris at September 14, 2004 07:05 AM
I laughed all the way through this impassioned narration of the supplement encounter because it is so typical in today's "take control of your own health" culture. You know though, the Chinese have been at this game for nearly 5,000 years. I can't count the number of times in China that Chinese have said to me as I was eating particular part of a cow's intestine that it would be good for some part of my body. But maybe there is some truth to it. I know during my 30 months in Samoa as a 20-21 year old that those missionaries, Palagi and Samoan alike, who took the "missionary vitamins" every day did not get boils and those who did not, especially when they were living on breadfruit, got boils (I never had one in the whole time). Then there is one doctor who told me all supplements do is produce expensive urin. Hey, its easy to really get into this topic. Thanks for the laughs. Carl
Posted by Carl Harris at September 14, 2004 07:05 AM
